I failed in my attempts to stop using drugs.

I suffererd emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. As the enemy would have it as I got older I began to act out in all the ways predicted for a person who suffered the kinds of abuses that I suffered. Low self esteem and self worth led me to look for and accept love from all the wrong people and places. I can't say that anyone around me had a personal relationship with God so all that I witnessed were disfunctional, unhealthy, adulterous, abusive relationships and so I began to believe this was the norm.

Also as predicted, as a young woman I began to want to escape from my own pain, thoughts and memories and I found that escape, (or so I thought) in the form of drugs and alcohol. This led to a period of addiction that spanned for almost 30 years ending with me addicted to crack cocaine and losing everything including my husband and children. Time after time I tried the Twelve Steps and time after time I failed in my attempts to stop using drugs. Almost everyone except my beautiful daughter Nicole had given up on me.

I kept trying, and my attempts led me to a long term treatment facility run by the Salvation Army. I tried this once and because of my intellect I could not receive God as the spiritual help that I needed to succeed. I felt like I was smart enough to follow all of the steps given me by the program and remain drug free. I thought I could do it all on my own. Little did I know that on my own I was no match for the devil and his antics. 

Six months after I graduated from the facility, I relapsed and began using drugs again. This time, I admitted to myself and to God that I couldn't do this alone. I acknowledged that I needed God's help. I asked the administrators at the Salvation Army to come back to the program and go through it again. They accepted me and my children back into the program and I made a conscious decision to allow God to take control over my life. In the mean time my daughter Nicole had gotten saved and started to share her salvation experiences with me. 

On December 22, 1999 I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and began my journey toward God's perfect will for my life. Thirteen years later, I am an Evangelist with a MBA, I am an Addictions Couselor and I teach Addiction Recovery at my local ministry. By the grace of God I am good at my job because of all the things that I suffered. Today I truly know that all things work together for the good of them that love God and to them that are the called according to His purpose.