I felt a bit uncomfortable !

I was sitting in a small room where 10 other young men were seated.... They had come to study the Bible...  They seemed to be very friendly.... I felt a bit uncomfortable, as they were a bit different than I was.... Most of them knew more about the Bible than I did.... They appeared to be more happy in-side of themselves than I was...
Then something disturbing happened.....  Two of the leaders were talking (before the class had started) .... One said, "Maybe there is someone here today who has not yet become a Christian.... How long do you think it would take them to become a Christian if they allowed us to talk to them?   Do you think that it would take ten minutes?"
At that the other replied, "No, it could take less than that.."
"OK, if any of you would like to become a Christian, just stay here after class, and you too can become a Christian" the other said....
This was something very new to me.... I had grown up in a town 40 miles from here.... At "my church" where I had attended, no one ever talked about a person"becoming a  Christian".... People just had their names added to the membership roll, they were "baptized", and they were accepted and were identified that they were "Christians"....
This had happened to me at the age of 14.... I thought that I had done all that God required of me.... I thought that God would "change me" when I was "baptized" --- but I was disappointed.... Nothing changed...I was just the same after as I was before....
Now - when the class was over, who do you think was the first one out of the door? -- You are correct.... I WAS.... I felt that I had escaped the trap which was to catch me into doing something I did not want to do....I DID NOT WANT TO CHANGE.... I feared that they would try to do something that would pressure me to change my life...   They seemed friendly, but I did not trust them....
I did leave that room, and I went into the large room where the people regularly gathered to worship, with music, prayer, and listening to the preaching from the Bible....
Again I felt uneasy.... Those people also seemed to be more happy and contented than I was.... (They must have something I do not have, I thought)...
But when the pastor asked the people to raise their hand to indicate that they knew that if they were to die tonight, that they knew they would be with God in Heaven, I RAISED MY HAND....(I lied).... I really knew that I was not like they were.... I had not really trusted God, and that Jesus Christ had paid my penalty for me for my disobeying God (for my sins).... I knew that Heaven was not my future "home"...
The pastor invited people to come to the front to "accept the Lord, and to become a Christian", near the end of the service....
OK, now who do you think was the first person out the back door? You are right again.... I WAS.... I could breathe, as I was free from the pressure I felt that I needed to change....   Again I felt as though I had escaped a trap....   I was not ready to change anything....
I hurried to the bus stop, to catch a bus to take me out to my cousins' home for a good "home-cooked meal".....
Later that afternoon, I went to take the bus back to where I was living....   I found the bus empty and the door was open so I entered and sat on the seat, which was immediately in back of the driver... He had gone into a coffee shop, and now he was returning....
He noticed my Bible, which was on the seat.... He asked, "Is that your Bible?"...
I replied, "Yes"... He continued, "Where do you go to church?"
"The First Baptist Church of Highland Park, Michigan", I said.....
"That's amazing" he said, "That is the very same church our family attends.   How long have you attended?" --- "About a year"----
"Are you a Christian?" ---- "Yes" (I lied, trying to stop him from talking to me as I was feeling pressure again...)  
"How long have you been 'saved' ", he continued....   I lied again - "About a year."
"That is great.... It sure is good to know you are a Christian, isn't it?" .... AGAIN I LIED, "Yes"....
Then he told me that two years ago some people came out to his home, on a Tuesday evening, and in their livingroom, and around their coffee table, they had a little Bible study.... It was then that he and his wife were both "saved" and became Christians....
WOW -- I really felt uncomfortable... I knew I had lied many times that day about my relationship with God....
All I wanted to do was hurry home, and try to escape again the pressure I felt....
For some reason, I felt that I should go back to the Young People's Fellowship, before the evening church services...
I did, and afterwards I went to the evening worship service....   It happened again.... (That uneasy feeling returned)....
Then later, when the pastor invited the people to raise their hand if they knew that Heaven was their next home, when they died --   Who do you think raised his hand?....  
Well it WAS NOT ME this time.... I had lied about God so much that day, I did not dare to lie again...  

If I had, I was afraid that God would have cut off my "lying hand"...

At the end of the meeting, who was the first one out of the church that night? -- You are right.... I WAS....
Again I went to catch a Woodward Ave.  street-car, and transfer to a bus, to go to an aunt's home to sleep.... I stepped off of the street-car at 6 Mile Road.... There was an ice cream store where they served excellent "sundaes"...
After my ice cream, I started walking south on 6 Mile Road to Third Avenue to catch the bus.... There, while walking alone, I began talking to myself.... "I am a good fellow.... I have not killed anyone.... I have not robbed any bank.... I have never intentionally hurt anyone.... I have gone to church.... I do believe that there is a God, and that Jesus Christ died on the cross"....
"I believe the Bible is true.... And I also remember that God loves everyone... God had Jesus Christ die to pay my penalty for my sins....God wants everyone to be with Him in Heaven.... So maybe God will feel sorry for me, when I die....   Maybe He will allow me to "slip on in" without my becoming a Christian....
"I remember what God said in the Bible, 'All have sinned' (disobeyed) Romans 3:23, and 'the wages of sin is death' Romans 6:23...
"I have not lived a perfect life, so I do deserve to die, and go to Hell....
"Yes, I wanted to go to Heaven, when I died, BUT I AM ONLY 19, AND I WILL LIVE TO BE 65 OR 70 BEFORE I DIE, SO I'VE LOTS OF TIME"
Now that scared me.... I really did NOT KNOW that I had one more minute to live.... My heart could stop immediately, and then I would be in HELL...
I called out to God - - "Oh God, I do not want to die, and go to Hell...I believe that Jesus died for me, and He paid my sin-penalty, so I now ask you to forgive me for my sins and come into my heart, and save me from dying and going to Hell....
"God, if you do this for me, PLEASE LET ME KNOW IT, SO I CAN BE SURE"....

WELL GOD DID IT..... GOD LET ME KNOW IT FOR SURE.....

Since Sunday Feb. 15, 1942 at 8:45PM, I have been a child of God, because I too was "born again from Heaven"..
At times the devil (Satan) has tried to confuse me and to get me to stop trusting God....
The devil tries to have me question the important fact that nothing can stop me from being in the family of God, and my relationship with God....
God has allowed the devil to do this for His own good reason.... Maybe God wanted me to learn more about Him and His love, His forgiveness, His patience, and His power to hold every person -- no matter what mistakes they do....   GOD IS REALLY GREAT....
Now God wants others to hear about the fact that God loves them too, and that His love is not conditioned on anything they do or do not do....
God wants them to know that He separated Himself from them, that first time they did anything which they knew was wrong.... Their punishment was death.... Death is a separation.... The punishment for disobeying God the first time is that God's Spirit is separated from our spirit....
God wants to be with them, and God will return, when anyone will stop trusting their own efforts, or anyone else, and tell God that they trust that Jesus Christ did pay in full, their penalty for their sins.....
"God, IF YOU ARE REAL, and IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, right now I am telling you that I know that I deserve to die and go to Hell....   BUT I do believe, and I trust that Jesus Christ died for me, and He paid my penalty for my sins.... The only thing I can do to go to Heaven is to trust what Jesus Christ has done for me.... SO please forgive me for my sins, and come into my life and my heart right now.... Save me from going to Hell..... AND please - let me be sure of it... I want to Know it.... I want to Know that I Know it.... You have helped others to be 100 percent sure of it, and I ask you to let me be 100 percent  sure of it too....
God wants you to be sure, and God's Spirit tells your spirit that you are a child of God....

Look it up yourself in God's book ---- The Bible --- Romans 8:16 ---

One of God's very grateful children....God loves you too - unconditionally....