The doctors sent her home to die

 I had serious problems, my wife became ill the very first year of our marriage, which brought great disappointment and unhappiness to me.

While the condition of sickness in my wife was steadily growing worse with her in and out of hospitals with one surgery after another - one crises after another - spending more and more time in the hospitals--I eventually turned from bad to worse. During all this time, was constantly looking for love and peace and fulfillment. I was also looking for acceptance by other people, but never finding it. Consequently, I turned to alcohol like I had never done before, until I was a slave to it. When the drowning in the alcohol wasn't strong enough, I turned to drugs.

The by-products of drinking and taking drugs was the abandonment of all morals I was ever taught. I delighted in wrecking cars and people's property, stirring up trouble in the lives of people, gambling away anything I could get my hands on (including my wife's clothes, while she was lying in the hospital). In my mental and spiritual depravity, I hated people for every imaginable reason - some for being of a different nationality, some for having the wrong color of skin, and the rest, for no good reason at all.

The doctors sent her home to die

Finally, after 11 years of marriage (and eight years of that merely existing miserably while my wife was away in the hospitals going through some 17 different major surgeries), the doctors sent her home from the hospital to die. Those were the hard and unbearable days of my life, full of heartaches and frustrations, and by the end of 11 years, I knew I was a total and complete failure as a man and a husband.

So the decision was made. I would commit suicide. I would go where I deserved to be ... in hell.

I drove my car wildly onto the expressway. Pushing the accelerator all the way to the floor, I wanted all the speed I could get. Up ahead, I spotted a concrete wall of an overpass bridge in the distance. That would be my target. I would drive the car into it, and finish off my misery.

Hell ... I would soon be in hell!

My mind raced like a crazed animal running faster and faster to its place of death. I would soon taste death and hell for eternity. Hell ... I would soon be in hell!

"Help me God!" I started weeping and choking. "Please God, let me die some other way. Let someone else kill me so that I might not have to go to hell, that horrible pit. Or else if you would, let me live in love and peace. Please, I am scared to die. Please, if you would let me live, change my life. Change me. Let me become as someone else. I can't stand myself anymore!"

As I kept racing ever closer toward the concrete wall, crying out to God, suddenly I realized the car motor had stopped running. By the time the car reached the decided place of suicide, the car coasted to a full stop a few feet away from the concrete wall. I made every attempt to start it, but it would not.

At that moment, for the first time in my life, I recognized the presence of God around and within me. Deep within my heart I heard a voice similar to mine say, "What you need is Jesus."

I began pleading, "Oh Jesus, my God, save me and change my life!"

Suddenly a peace came over me, filling my heart and mind, and tears began to bathe my face. They were tears of joy. As the horror and hurt and all the tortures of life melted away, I breathed in the presence of His great love and light. Again I heard the same voice say to me from within: "Welcome home, Jakob, my son. I have been waiting for you."

At that moment, through the window of my mind, for the first time in my life, I could see the great mystery. I could see Father God in the face of Jesus Christ. He was no longer some kind of mythical or mystical great power or force, or some kind of universal cosmic potentate that just came out of hiding from somewhere in a deep, cold space, or faraway heavens. No - at that moment He became my personal God. A personal God precious enough to intervene at the last second and save my life. And then He performed a miracle in my midst. I have to mention that I had been a regular user of marijuana, and a friend of mine had given me a large amount of it wrapped up in a plastic bread bag. The huge bag of marijuana was sitting beside me, on the front seat of the car.

I looked into the rearview mirror and was blinded by the flashing lights of a police car knowing that I had no way of escaping without that large bag of marijuana being detected, I suddenly sank into great fear. Once again I pleaded with God. "Please, sweet Jesus, spare me from this trouble - from this awful guilt and shame I will suffer if I am found with this marijuana." I knew the charge would be devastating, because I was already in a lot of trouble.

In my despairing cry and plea, once again I heard this beautiful, comforting voice inside say to me, "Trust in Me; trust in Me; trust in Me."

And I asked, "Oh God, what will I tell them?"

He said, "Trust in Me and tell the truth."

The miracle took place before my eyes

The miracle took place before my eyes. The two officers were blind to the bag of marijuana sitting beside me. Then the Lord somehow confused the communication of the policemen, and they wound up in a heavy argument right there in front of me. I did not have valid registration for the vehicle but one of the officers handed me back my driver's license. He angrily told me to go get the blower on my heater fixed, and my wipers, before I wound up killing myself and someone else because of my fogged up windows.

I thanked him, and started the car without any problem. (Remember, the car had stopped running by itself earlier). I drove immediately home, anxious to tell my wife about my encounter with God.

Had you looked into my face before that glorious day of my meeting with God, you would have seen the wretchedness of sin, hatred, guilt and meanness. I know, because I had to look at that face every day in the mirror. But after my glorious experience, His glory was transformed and shining in my face. To all this I say. "To God be the glory", and I leave you with this: "I did not come to call the righteous (That is, those who believe they can get into heaven on their own goodness), but sinners (meaning those who are trying to get to heaven by God's goodness, which can only be appropriated by God's plan of salvation), Mark 2:17.

MEETING GOD IN THE AIR

As I grew in my relationship with the Lord, an incident happened that changed the course of my life.  Before I start sharing it, I want to say that I believe it's possible to walk on dangerous ground with God.  I believe that there are occasions when we are thrust into the supernatural or spiritual dimension, and we must be very careful how we react to that experience after we come back to the world as we know it.  I want everyone to know that the experience I am about to tell is just one of those circumstances where I walk on dangerous ground if I leave the impression with anyone that I am someone special, or that I am more spiritual than someone else, or that I deserve to have experiences that other people don't have.  If I was ever to start to do that, I believe God would take me right out of this life and let me die prematurely, because I am trusting Him to never let me fall from pride like Satan did.  It would be my prayer that God would always receive the glory for everything I say and do, and if not, then have Him take me right out of this life.

The first thing I want to say is that I was not asking God to have an experience to leave my body and go into the heavenlies.  No - I was at church, engaged in intercessory prayer.  There were several people in the room when it happened.  I was age 30, and had given my heart to the Lord about eight months previous.  

Before I share this experience, I feel it is necessary to say that there were thousands of Yugoslavian people in the Detroit area, and I didn't know but a handful that were saved.  I started praying in a prayer room at Bethesda Missionary Temple in Detroit.  At first I was kneeling, and then I sat down on the back of my legs, leaning into the pew.  I remember being really broken up before God.  Whether somebody could tell me the difference between intercessory prayer or travailing prayer, I didn't know at the time.  (I know know it was intercessory prayer).  Anyway, I was broken up, and I was crying out to God.  At other times I would be singing to God in the spirit, not in an understandable language, but in tongues.  I was interceding on behalf of the numerous unsaved Yugoslavian people in the Detroit area, broken up because so few of them had a true understanding of what it was like to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and to be full of the Holy Spirit.  In fact, I was torn up because I knew they were going to hell.  I was begging and pleading with God not to let them go to the pit.  

As I prayed in the spirit, and sometimes praying in my own language, I continued to beg the Lord to do something to turn them around.  Then the Lord began to speak to me.  He said, "You pray for them.  You do it."
I continued to pray, alternating back and forth from tongues to my Croatian (Yugoslavian) language, and then I asked again, "Lord, is there anyone praying for these people?  Is there anyone?"
Suddenly out of my mouth the tongues stopped, and the Holy Spirit gave me the interpretation in my native language, "There is no one.  They are your people, and they are your inheritance."

A moment later my spirit left my body.  I know it left because I could look down and see myself still kneeling down, leaning against that pew.  In a split second I was thousands of miles above the earth, if not millions.  I glanced behind me at one point and saw the earth was about the size of a golf ball.  I didn't feel anything as I was traveling.  I didn't feel friction or motion.

As I was moving away from the earth, I knew where I was going, for the Lord had spoken to me as soon as I had left my body, "I am going to show you your inheritance."

I continued to move away from the earth, and again I had the feeling to turn and glance back, which I did.  But this time it was different.  This time I was not looking through my eyes, but I was literally looking through the eyes of the Lord.  This is difficult to describe.  Somehow I was positioned behind the Lord, and could see through the back of His head.  (I was never allowed to see the front of Him).  He was invisible, and I was looking through Him as though He only had one eye.  I saw planet earth in colors I had never seen before, and never since then.  As best as I can describe, they were kind of a golden green.  As I looked through the Lord's eye, it reminded me of looking through one of those telescopes they used to use on the pirate ships centuries ago, because as I gazed down at the earth, it began to get bigger.  I could see Yugoslavia as though I was only a few thousand feet above it.

Now remember, I knew I was thousands and thousands of miles above the earth, and yet through God's eye, I could see Detroit, Michigan and the country of Yugoslavia all at the same time.  Soon the land was magnified more, and then I was able to clearly see the countryside; roads, houses, fields, trees, ditches that I used to jump over.  I could see everyplace I had ever walked as a little boy, all simultaneously at the same time.

For a brief moment, I would say the majority of my concentration covered roughly an 80 mile diameter, or about a three county wide area where I was born in Yugoslavia.  Suddenly the Lord allowed me to see something I'll never forget.  I could actually see a blade of grass growing.  It reminded me of time-lapse photography, as I marveled at what I was watching.  Then I was able to see even closer, looking right into fibers of the grass, and then individual molecules.

Simultaneously, I saw it all, I guess, as God sees it

Let's take a moment and let me describe again the ability God gave me.  All at the same time ... I had multiple perceptions of distance, and fields of vision.  Although there were different stages of magnifications, I was totally aware of all of them, and yet not distracted or overwhelmed by one more than the other.  In other words, I knew and could see that I was millions of miles above the earth, but yet I could look over Detroit, and at the same time look over the land where I played as a child in Yugoslavia.  While I could do all of that, I could still zero in and inspect the insides of a growing blade of grass, all the while never losing any of the other visual perceptions.  Never was there a jumping up and down of different levels of distances, like one might imagine having to do.  Simultaneously, I saw it all, I guess, as God sees it.

Then I was instantly removed from behind the Lord -- removed from His presence, and was positioned in the air approximately 50 feet above the earth.  It was as though I was dangling in mid-air with nothing keeping me there.  I was looking down, and as I was doing so, I saw an open square.  It was the main square in Belgrade, Yugoslavia.  (I had never been there before, so I had no way of knowing previous what it looked like, at least to my remembrance).  In the middle of the square was a platform, similar to the kind you would see at a Billy Graham crusade.  When I saw, I asked, "Lord, what is that?"
The Lord replied, "You prayed; this is your inheritance.  I am giving it to you."

I asked, "Lord - how?"

I looked down at the crowds of people again, and I looked at the platform.  Someone was standing on the platform preaching, and as I looked closer, I could see that person was me!

And just like that ... whoosh -it was over.

The next thing I remember was that I was back in my body, painfully aware that I was still in that kneeling/sitting position where I had been when my spirit had left my body.  As I opened my eyes, I began to feel terrible all over.  I was acutely aware of all the aches and pains in my body that I normally would just take for granted.  I was also aware of the feeling that I was confined, as though I was suddenly put in a prison.  I remember struggling terribly with that feeling, because I didn't want to be back in my body.  While I had been in the presence of the Lord in the spirit, there was such peace.  Now that indescribable peace was suddenly gone.  The physical world was my reality once more, and I had to deal with it.  

Nothing in this life compares to that feeling of peace

But this I'll say:  Whatever I must do; whatever pain and suffering I must go through in this life to make it back into the presence of God, I will endure.  I will wait patiently, because nothing in this life that I've experienced compares to that feeling of peace I encountered when I was positioned next to the Lord during that experience.  
My only prayer is that you will believe me when I say that it is worth it all! All the pain, all the suffering, all the misery, all the hardships, all the confusion, all the difficulties -- all of these things that we experience to one degree or another (or are experiencing now): they flee away instantly when you are in the presence of God.  Dear one, whatever you do, don't give up.  Developing a personal relations with Jesus Christ is worth it all, and your time is coming when one day you will yell throughout the universe, "I made it!"

And after you do that, walk reverently up to Jesus Christ - look Him in the eye - and thank Him for making it all possible.